Please think of the Children!

 

“Won’t somebody please think of the children!”

This fanatical line is one you’ve heard from Helen Lovejoy on The Simpsons potentially hundreds of times.  It’s usually in a situation where the children are in zero danger of physical or emotional harm and it’s simply an adult projecting how much we must protect the kids from something.

I can’t help but hear that voice when I read the news these days as I hear of new law after new law being passed or proposed south of the border to attack the LGBTQ community. 

For a while, it was easier to tune out because it was “down there”, and we were isolated from it. 

The rhetoric and misinformation have however found it’s way across the 49^th and into the minds of politicians and policy makers here in the North as well. 

While the attacks aren’t as blatant yet from a political standpoint, they are starting, and they are spreading.

The first shot across the bow comes in the form of “Parent’s Rights” and specifically if a parent must be informed and sign off if their child has chosen to use a different name or pronouns in school.  At least three provinces had brought this issue to light in recent weeks, and one must question why.

Those that push for this policy are arguing that teachers and schools shouldn’t keep secrets from the parents.  They say that schools should be about teaching reading, writing and arithmetic.  Schools have no reason to discuss sexuality or gender at all; that should be taught at home. 

And you know what?  I agree.

I agree that schools should focus on core skills that will help our children thrive.  Soft skills like empathy, being inclusive, and embracing diversity however are also core skills that one could argue are actually needed more in the everyday life of adults.

I agree that matters regarding gender and sexuality should be taught in the home.  However, the reality is, those things aren’t being taught in the home.  The most basic components of sexual education are not being taught regularly by parents so it’s on schools to pick up the slack.  They teach the kids to recognize when they are being taken advantage of and how to protect themselves.  The teach the kids that the world is made of many different types of people, and all are valid.  They don’t exclude people for a perceived “sinful” lifestyle, even though it’s not (feel free to check out some of my other work on that topic.)  They teach children at various ages that how they feel is valid and normal and there is nothing wrong with them.

Finally, I agree wholeheartedly that the schools shouldn’t have to keep secrets from parents.  In an ideal world, if your child wanted to go by a different name or felt that the gender that they were assigned at birth didn’t fit, they would come to you.  In an ideal world, parents wouldn’t be blindsided by this information.

Unfortunately, we don’t live in an ideal world.  Kids are most likely to be themselves where they feel comfortable and safe.  As a former teenager, I can say that is often the school with your friends.

To put it quite bluntly, taking away this safe space for students who are questioning their gender identity will cost lives.  Lives that may have otherwise been saved as the child meets allies and hopefully at some point feels comfortable going back to their own parents to discuss how they feel.  With the schools forcing the parents to be involved from the start before the child is ready, they are outing the child into an environment that for whatever reason, they don’t feel safe in, and it will have consequences.

I wonder if a child asking his teacher to call him Mike instead of Michael will warrant a letter home in the future before a teacher is willing to do so.  Or do you think that maybe these proposed changes are only there to target a specific group of already marginalized kids.

Across the US for several years and now into Canada, there has been an active choice to trade votes for the lives of vulnerable children and I can’t bring myself to understand why.

So to paraphrase Helen Lovejoy, when new Anti-LGBTQ legislation is being drafted across North America, won’t somebody please actually think of the children.