Leaving Church?

 

Dearest Gentle Reader,

If you don’t get that reference, let me be the first to congratulate you on missing the Bridgerton wave.

It’s me again, the Constructing Christian and it has been some time since I last wrote to you all.  All I can say is that sometimes life wins, and it ties up most of your time.

For the last four years, you’ve known me as the Constructing Christian.  Someone who wrestled with biblical ideas and tried to analyze the world around him. 

I’m writing today as someone who has left the church that first drove me to write and question things.  The same church where I was baptized for a second time (first as an adult) and the same church where I tried to volunteer as much as possible. 

I’m leaving this church primarily over their refusal to become fully affirming and advertise that they are such.  A refusal to stand up specifically for a minority group that has been harmed by the church.  A refusal to understand that a person’s identity is not something that we can have opinions or debates about.  A refusal to show outward and visible support to this community for fear of upsetting those who aren’t ready.  I can no longer worship in that space.

More than that though, I’m leaving based on their shift in focus that is designed to bring in everyone with many beliefs because they are only subscribing to a certain set of core values. Beyond those core values though, they say everything is open for discussion.

My issue is that those core beliefs are open to discussion for me.  The non-negotiables as I’ve heard them called are things that I can’t subscribe to.

I don’t believe people are sinful by nature per se but where I’m at with sin in general is something that should be a discussion point.  Based partly on this and partly on where my heart leads me, I don’t believe anyone needs saving or to be baptized in the first place.  I don’t think Jesus died for my sins.

As I’ve written in the blog in the past, I don’t even believe that Jesus had to die.  I don’t think he came here with a 33-year plan and only desired a 3-year ministry.  I’m quite sure he would have loved to teach for another 50 years in human form, but he willingly submitted to being killed by the authorities.  This wasn’t a trade for our souls, and he wasn’t a sacrificial lamb, but simply a man who accepted that people would not listen any longer.

With regard to the resurrection, I don’t know where I stand to be honest.  I’ve been told that if Jesus didn’t rise again, then there is no Christianity.  I would argue that isn’t a necessary part of the life of Jesus.  His teachings and the life he calls us to have nothing to do with rising from the dead; it’s weird to me that we focus on it so much.

I don’t know if Jesus is coming again but I get the feeling he’s not.  That still doesn’t change my view of him or the lessons he was trying to teach.

When it comes to the bible, I see it as a book or collection of books that can tell us about a man and about how men for centuries tried to figure out something bigger than themselves.  I don’t believe any word in the bible is any more god breathed or inspired than the blog I’m writing right now.

I also don’t believe that Jesus and Christianity are the only way to heaven (if it exists, that’s another blog).  I’ve heard it before but can’t remember where to tag for credit, that every religion and belief system and denomination is basically a creek or a river but that we’ll all end up in the same ocean.  Because I happened to be born to a Christian family does not give me more of a monopoly on heaven than a Muslim or Hindu or tribesman who’s never heard of any of this. 

Finally, I have no idea why I’m supposed to care what Paul says in any time.  His only encounter with Jesus was after the resurrection and even the people with him claim to have heard a voice but not understood it or seen light without knowing the source.  I’m sorry but there’s 10 people on the corner of every major city right now that will tell you this same story.  Are we to believe that they’ve also met Jesus and we should follow what they write down for the next 2000 years?  Or maybe did Paul just succumb to the heat of the desert and have a hallucination. 

So, after all of this, where does it leave me.  A man who believes in Jesus and believes he was who he said he was.  Believes that he came to show us a better way and we killed him for it.

Am I a Christian anymore?  Am I constructing anything?  I really don’t know for sure.  But I promise you this.  If I figure it out, you’ll be the first to know.